The Do-s and Don’t-s of Fishing

These are just a few lessons I’ve learned the past couple days. Tomorrow we’re going on a boat out of Homer to fish Halibut. I’m sure I’ll be adding to the list….

Do: Wake up very early. Like, un-godly early. Usually 4 a.m. is good, but when you’re catching Kings, sometimes a 2 a.m. wake-up is necessary. Why? Because fish won’t catch themselves.

Don’t: Comment on how early it is. No one likes to be reminded how tired they are.

Do: Eat something decent before you leave to fish. Toast, yogurt, eggs if they are available. You want to start the day with something substantial in your body because you’re going to be out on the river for a very long time.

Don’t: Drink too much coffee. You’re going to be out on the river a very long time, and nobody has time for a coffee pee break.

Do: Make sure that your waders and boots are cleaned the night before.

Don’t: Expect to put the waders on quickly. Those suckers are hard to get on, and once they’re on, they’re on.

Do: Put sun lotion on as soon as you get to your fishing spot. You’ll be too consumed with finding those little suckers, you’ll forget about your propensity to skin cancer.

Don’t: Expect to re-apply your sun lotion. Once your stuff is on the boat, it will get lost in the shuffle of all the gear.

Do: Wear the stupidest hat you can find. Preferably in camo. You don’t want the fish to know you’re coming.

Don’t: Wear anything that can’t get wet.

Do: Bring a small snack for the trip. A full lunch will be too much trouble while you’re in the middle of a good fishing trip.

Don’t: Drink water. Or any other fluid, for that matter. Because, you’re going to be out on the river for a very long time, and there ain’t no time for pee breaks.

Do: Bring a bottle to pee in if necessary.

Don’t: Be a girl who can’t pee in a bottle if necessary.

______ Updated 7/25

Do: Double check your itinerary for departure times.

Don’t: Wake up at 4 p.m. so that you can arrive at the dock for 5 a.m. when the launch was really set for 7 a.m., but you couldn’t figure out how to check your email.

Do: Double check directions to the dock.

Don’t: Call the captain on his cell phone at 5:15 a.m. and wake him up from R.E.M. sleep because you got lost and thought you were late when really you are two hours early.

Do: Follow all traffic laws whilst driving out to the dock at 5 a.m.

Don’t: Pass a truck that is trailing a two-ton boat because you think you are late, when really you are two hours early.